


Let Me Through

by RoseyWinter



Series: A Side of Sanders Shots [15]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cg5, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Rejection, Songfic, Unresolved Emotional Tension, cg5 let me through
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27208021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyWinter/pseuds/RoseyWinter
Summary: A songfic featuring Let Me Through by cg5. Janus sings and leads Thomas into a dance in a desperate attempt to make him understand but ultimately Thomas turns away, leaving Deceit to wonder bitterly what might have been.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders & Thomas Sanders
Series: A Side of Sanders Shots [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984643
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Let Me Through

The final notes of You're A Cad faded out as Janus leaned back with a sigh that did little to fill the silence now ringing in his ears. Of all the nonsensical things that could possibly be done with time Thomas had requested they each put playlists together that they felt best matched them to give to not only him but the fans that watched their videos as well. A novel idea that had Janus wondering idly just how on the nose he could get away with being with his choices without raising concern or suspicion from the others. Music had a way of swaying people, literally and figuratively, and he wanted things to of course sway in his favor...but how to do so subtly was where he was having difficulties.

It would so much easier if any of them, Thomas included, had a speck of communication skills under all of their dramatics and fanfare. Granted he was just as much one to play up certain things for the sake of a show as any of the other sides; Remus and Virgil had teased him relentlessly when he conjured a fainting couch to catch him as he swooned many years ago, but theatrics had a time and a place. With Thomas' near constant stream of dilemmas that could be solved with little more than forethought and a healthy conversation it was clear they were all well past lighthearted dramatics.

Sighing heavily, Janus gathered up his list and rose up carefully, blinking into reality in front of the couch. Thomas bobbed his head along to whatever he was listening to through his headphones with his face scrunched in concentration. He watched as he glanced up and caught sight of him, a hint of fear flashing in his eyes before it was quickly covered with a half hearted smile. Rolling his eyes Janus tossed the list onto the table and turned away.

"Deceit wait!"

Janus cringed as his function was called out even though he knew it was his own fault for not just telling them all his name. Unfortunately, until Thomas began to see him as he actually was there wouldn't be any point in it. "Yes?" He hissed out instead.

"I want you to stay. It'll be easier to finalize everything if you're here."

The truthful statement warmed his chest, though it was quickly cooled as he realized Thomas wanted him there out of necessity rather than by any choice. It was a step he supposed, even if it was for a project and not an actual matter of importance.

"Besides I've had a song stuck in my head and I wondered if you wanted to listen to it with me while I work?"

The urge to turn away, to fully allow himself to be consumed in cowardly wallowing was a strong thing to resist, but the too wide smile he received as the edge of the couch dipped with his weight made it almost worth it. Sitting at the far end, on the very edge of the cushion as straight backed as he was was hardly a comfortable position but it was one he felt matched the building tension in the air nicely. Glancing towards the stairs he was mildly surprised Virgil hadn't appeared yet with his glares and disdainful quips to drive him away from Thomas. His chest constricted painfully as he glanced over at his manifestor, steadily typing in lyrics to google and trying to match them with the song marching through his head. He knew he shouldn't have let Remus help choose songs.

Clearing his throat to gain attention he muttered out "Let Me Through."

"What?" Thomas half turned to him, startled at whatever he figured Janus had meant.

"Let Me Through. Cg5. I believe that's the song that's been steadily driving us both insane."

Eyes lighting in realization Thomas was quick to type it in, removing his headphones from the jack so they could both enjoy the music. "I wouldn't say that. I havent listened to this in a while; it'll be nice to play it again."

The opening cords were quick and before Janus could quite register what he was doing the words were pulled from his mouth as smooth as silk from a clothesline, ensnaring him in a way that let him know he was in too deep now, no use turning back if this could prove to be advantageous in any way.

"I want you to know,  
The ebb and flow of my own show.  
From head to toe,  
You will be scared,  
And not prepared,  
For what I have in store for you."

Thomas glanced over in confusion as Janus stood up, his eyes still trained to the floor. He almost cringed as he was given full attention, as this was quite possibly the most overdramatic thing he had ever done but all of them processed that certain flare, why not indulge?

"I'm waiting for,  
My curtain call.  
Before I storm right through the hall.  
Knock knock, who's there?  
Are you prepared,  
To finally meet your doom?"

He delivered the last line with a chuckle and a low bow, holding out a semi confident hand for Thomas to take. Pulling him in Janus quickly hid his burning face in his shoulder, leading them to awkwardly sway as he swallowed around a lump forming in his throat.

"Why do you close the door? Come to me with open arms." He squeezed his eyes shut and gripped Thomas' hand slightly tighter, taking a steadying breath as he did so. "There's so much we need to explore.  
I mean no harm."

The music swelled with Janus' growing desperation. As frustrating as this and every other situation was he loved Thomas with everything he had. The urge to hold and protect and shield had been there since day one, driving him to twist words and hide feelings and shun away in the darkness to protect him the only way he knew how. And Thomas didn't understand. Nearly refused to, all in the name of proper moral standing.

Their waltzing steps sped up while Janus bit out the next lines more harshly than he meant to.

"I sing my song all night long just for you.  
Please oh please, I'm on my knees, let me through." He swung Thomas out and away, finally making eye contact to search desperately for even a hint of understanding.  
"I sing my song all night long just for you.  
Please oh please, I'm on my knees, let me through."

His heart sank as the other worked his fingers out of his gloved ones, taking a step back as he held his hands to his chest protectively. Biting his lip he held Janus' gaze as he began to sing back albeit somewhat hesitantly.

"I, I understand,  
You want to play,  
But this is what I have to say.  
Your presence here,  
Fills me with fear.  
That's the extent of my career."

Each line was delivered with more conviction as Thomas straightened himself out, staring down at Deceit with an unreadable expression.

"I don't know why,  
You even try,  
To sing me your dumb lullaby.  
No I can't flee, calamity.  
Is everywhere I turn."

Janus flinched as the words were hurled at him and though he knew this was a song, and knew these words were coming, it still hurt almost as much as if they were originally spoken from Thomas himself. From the look on his face Janus knew he meant every word and his chest tightened even as he forced himself to reach out again, nearly whispering the next line.

"Why do you close the door?  
Come to me with open arms.  
There's so much we need to explore.  
I mean no harm."

He watched as Thomas shook his head, stepping back and away from his self preservation. Realizing that with this move it was abundantly clear that, at least metaphorically, his manifestor would rather take a blind step backwards than towards something he already knew. His felt as if his chest couldn't possibly tighten any further until it felt like it finally snapped, ribs breaking forward in a breath he nearly couldn't catch as a wind of fury filled his lungs and rose to light his eyes. It only worsened as Thomas took yet another step backwards as Janus gripped his chest with one fist, the other swinging back behind him in pure frustration.

"I sang my song all these years just for you!  
Please oh please, I'm on my knees, let me through! And I'll sing my song all night long just for you! Please oh please, I'm on my knees, let me through." He delivered his last line brokenly as Thomas turned away, effectively dismissing him even as the music continued. His eyes shone while his hands fell limp to his sides, staring in defeat at the back of the only one he cared to be acknowledged by. The beats wrung out as he sunk down, echoing words following him as he summoned his staff as he stalked down the hallway, pausing only a moment to glare at a pale blue door, shut tight to the events playing outside of it, ignorant in its moralistic bliss.

'I will not let you through my door.  
I will not let you settle the score.'

Janus snorted at the irony as he continued on, starting in surprise hearing a soft question directed at him.

"Should this one be added to the list?" Thomas inquired from outside.

'The power, the power, the power.  
Oh no.'

"Don't bother." He hissed out, his door slamming behind him with a finality that shook Thomas to his core.


End file.
